Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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What comes after "Q" R

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Turtles

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Men's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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