a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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