Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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go go gadget

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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