Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Pianca going ham

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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