how do you stop a train? you cant..

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Jew returns change.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you find....... there's a..........

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops