Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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I LIKE TURLES.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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Womens Rights.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Herman Cain

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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