What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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