How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Icecream

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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PENIS

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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