What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Women rights.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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Fruitcake

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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