I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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newt gingrich

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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