What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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PENIS

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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What's 6+2? 16

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Where else? The junk yard

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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