Whoa! A talking carrot!

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

you wanna hear a joke? no

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

Turtles

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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