Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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What comes after "Q" R

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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I love boobs

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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8====D {(0)}

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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