What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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