Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Dead babies.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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