In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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the WNBA

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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two fish are in a tank.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Icecream

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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PENIS

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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you are gay

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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