what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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Brett Farve

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Aodhan Hearty

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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