why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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penis

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Potato salad

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25

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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69

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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