What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

69

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

What does a man like. food.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Hitler is my role model

Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...