What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

penis

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

Steering Wheel Face.

I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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