Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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justin littleton. nuff said

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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sweaty black guy

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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