if it's friday, it must be China

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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...Jack Vale

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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I am black.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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SPAMS!!!

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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