A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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a banana

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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