The size of Idris Elba's penis

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Aodhan Hearty

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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