Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mole say? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +11

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +11

gay marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

two fish are in a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops