-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Lacrosse

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Brienna Chladek (515)556-4811. Call me;) anytime I'm a teenager:) xoxo

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Jewish People

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Pianca going ham

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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your all shit at jokes

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Nickelback.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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