How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

josh simpson has cancer

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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