Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

beiber i straight

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

thumb_up thumb_down

What color is my lamp? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops