Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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cheese

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

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This joke isnt funny.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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beiber i straight

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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