What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +3

N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dear John,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

if it's friday, it must be China

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -13

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops