How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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