Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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hi

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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