Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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drugs.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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W.N.B.A.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Golf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

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Penis

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justin littleton. nuff said

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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