when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Aodhan Hearty

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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