I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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SAY

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Indeed.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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The jets are a good team..

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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