A baby seal walks into a club

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

milly, milly, milly, cat

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

Penis

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

Why Because

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

How do you leave a man in suspense...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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