Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

thumb_up thumb_down +63

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Lets go Detroit Pistons!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops