if it's friday, it must be China

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

You're so straight!

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

The WNBA

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

GONNA

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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