What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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chuck norris

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Hello world

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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