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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

amy copied adams haircut :0

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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