What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Obama

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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i have 2 penises

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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Brett Farve

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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