What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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the WNBA

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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An Irishman stays home

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28

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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sixty....eight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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