Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

thomas hall= fuckin dikc

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops