Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Benevolent villain.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Hi poop!

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops