Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Black people are innocent.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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AROUND

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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