I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

penis

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

amy copied adams haircut :0

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

newt gingrich

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

Oliver's friends

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

anus soup

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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