There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

go go gadget

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

Penis

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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