When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

barack osama

thumb_up thumb_down +48

roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats long and hard? a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +36

nice shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops