why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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Shit.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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