What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus doesn't exist. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid, you're standing right next to me!"

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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want to go home? yea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops