- Anti Joke

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

SPAMS!!!

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

69

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

come along children

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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