Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

Myspace

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

You are the third derivative of the position function.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

Two women were sitting in silence.

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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