if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dear John,

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

CHEEZECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

69

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

thumb_up thumb_down +42

W.N.B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops