why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

Two women were sitting in silence.

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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